PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
