I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
