Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
