Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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