Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
