The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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