took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
