So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
