TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
