Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
