so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
