Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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