As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
