I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
