would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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