love makes seman taste better
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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