Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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