Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
