I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize