OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
