would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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