Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
