There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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