you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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