Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
