It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
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let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
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I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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