drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
