Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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