I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
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he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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