I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
