Your tits are I can't wait for
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
