So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
