Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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