He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
