their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
