Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
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When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
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There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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