did you get engaged???
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
