You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
