I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
