Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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