Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
