i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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