High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
