sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
