I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
