I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
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i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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