You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
