Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
