Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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