your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
