i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
