He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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