Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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