accomplished twins. life is a go
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize