Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize