If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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