Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think your dad took our porno
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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